Currently I am listening to the playlist I made for K and myself to listen to when we are finally in each others arms again.
Mmmmyaa....So most people think from A to B; I think from A to Z and assume you understand what happened to B through Y. I just had an A to Z moment and I'm going to attempt to explain B through Y.
A: Playlist about me and K...
Z: ...I don't need to defend myself.
B through Y(a.k.a. the thought process that rapidly went on in my head): This blog has concentrated a great deal on the relationship between K and myself. Some may agree, some may not, with all the decisions and statements I have made. Part of me wants to lay things out for everyone and explain what went on and what's going on so people know where we're at now. I want to explain my flips and flops in emotion and my decisions and attempt to explain K's side of the story. I want to defend myself and our story. But I realized that if I truly love K and have faith in our love then that love will defend itself. It is ready to take your questions but it's not going to get up on a soap box and disclaim itself just because it's afraid of what you've thought of it for the past 10 months. So if I'm going to tell you everything about me and K just for the sake of making me feel better about my image, then too bad.
I've been dreaming a lot lately about babies. And this time its good dreams. Whenever I used to dream about babies before, I would give birth to them and then they would either disappear or die. Now my dreams are of me getting pregnant or having babies (usually with K). I wonder what that means - I'm definitely not ready to have kids. I know I want to some day, just not right now.
I have two weeks left in Russia. It's finally snowing. I've learned a priceless amount about myself while here; it's an expereience I wouldn't trade for anything...here's a picture (not a very good one) of me in my first snowfall writing my name in cyrillic
When I get home I can't wait to SHOWER and get all the hard water grime off of me. I can do that in California. In CA K is taking me to see "W*cked" - SO excited! I'll get to go to D*sneyland also ::glorious angels singing. But when I finally get to good 'ol HOME home in Hawaii...I am getting out of the car, petting my 5 handicapped felines, hugging my grandma, then sticking my head under the tap and drinking CLEAN water, then stripping down to my skivvies and jumping in the pool. I'll get out and remain in my undies because it will be so overwhelmingly hot and only then will people receive their hello's and presents. My mom will have already received her hug in the car where she will hopefully be greeting me with malasadas (Portuguese donuts) and passion orange juice. ::sigh:: oh Hawaii...
My next blog will probably be on my travelsofrw site so if you're just DYING to keep up with my fast paced young swingin life - check there in a few. If not, see you in a bit! Take care all
me
Positive Thought of the Day: I bought myself two presents today - a sleeping beauty matrioshka (those dolls inside of one another) and a lady bug fabrege (not REAL) egg ...yay
1 comment:
That's a great picture! Thanks for commenting on my blog! I've really enjoyed reading roleplayingwithkids and findingchaos! Those women are something else aren't they! ")
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