It was so long ago but I never summed up...
My New England Adventure
After my last post on my trip, the following took place:
Tuesday: Walked along the coast of RI, picked up my cousin from daycare, relaxed
Wednesday: Visited "The Breakers" mansion - the Vanderbilt family summer home, went shopping, saw "Penelope"
Thursday: Went to a few bookstores, bought the new 'Curve' with Dani on the cover, moved my stuff from one cousin's house to another, met my other cousin at her 'home', went out to dinner at this fancy chop suey place and caught chicken on my head that was flown at me, bonded with my cousin and watched 'Jacob'...boring movie
Friday: Did Ukranian egg dying and had dinner with the whole family
Saturday: Visited NYC! Saw the empire state building, fashion avenue, the statue of liberty, ellis island, and time square - ate lunch at this fancy rib place
Sunday: Easter...had lunch with the family then flew home
The Girlfriend
Talk about serious drama. Have you ever really, really liked someone but just not 'felt it' anymore? I don't even get why I'm feeling this way; it's like I'm having a major mood swing - one second I want to have her babies and the next I just want to be friends. I'm too much of a coward though to tell her. I sorta kind of tried breaking up with her but it just turned into us fighting then talking then going to our own rooms then fighting then talking then going to our own rooms then crying then fooling around then pretending everything was ok. My therapist thinks it's because I was off my meds and I'm having mood swings; my academic adviser thinks I should end it; my mom thinks I'm too young for love in the first place...any thoughts?
Practically Perfect in Every Way
So my worship of false idols pretty much goes like this - Audrey Hepburn, Julie Andrews, all other humans. Seeing as I won't get to meet my ultimate idol...I literally cried when I found out Julie Andrews would be in the area on the 8th. K and I skipped school to see her. However - K and I fought about when to get there and we ended up getting there too late. They cut the line off about 10 people before us. I was devastated. K is trying to make it up to me by taking me to another of Julie's book signings in Beverly Hills next Friday. Let's hope this time I get to actually meet her and tell her how much Mary Poppins impacted my fragile childhood.
Clothesline
So there's a group on our campus called CARES - creating a rape-free environment for students. Periodically they bring this event to campus called "clothesline" in which literal clotheslines are set up around the campus and hundreds of shirts are hung up. Each shirt is unique as people have made them to reflect their experiences. Each color shirt means something:
White -- Women who have been murdered as a result of sexual or domestic violence.
Red, pink or orange -- Women who have been raped or sexually assaulted
Yellow or beige -- Women who have been battered
Blue or green -- Women survivors of incest or child sexual abuse
Purple or lavender -- Women attacked because they were or were thought to be lesbian
I used to work with CARES every once in a great while last semester so I decided to make a shirt. I picked a shirt (if you're wondering...I'm a blue) and decorated it. I was so proud when I was finished and felt like i had brought a tiny bit more of closure to my situation. I know there are things I will never forget - things that will always just totally suck, but attempting to bring closure to them helps. Anyhow, I couldn't get a picture of it up because it had to dry so I'll describe it to you: In blue glitter glue I wrote in cursive "They said I was too young to remember." Then underneath in black sharpie in all messy capital letters I wrote "But I will never forget what you did to me." I was very proud of myself.
In other news, my mom was in town for a while. I can honestly say with my whole heart my mom is my best friend. I love when she comes to visit. She is the most amazing and strongest woman I know. I wouldn't be alive today without her. Everyone tell your Mom(s) and/or Dad(s) or whoevers that you love them - let's be thankful for the precious people in our lives today!
me
Positive Thought of the Day: I'm starting to get my life back in order - homework is shaping up, I'm working out more, eating healthier, and working on my emotions :)
3 comments:
Woh. This is quite a post. Glad you are checking out your moods/emotions. Sounds like mood swings...
And that group CARES sounds pretty cool.
Sounds like a great trip. Obviously K is not the one for you. Mood swings or not, feeling like you might want to end it this early is a definate sign that she is not your soulmate. Besides, how awesome would it be to go to Russia w/ no strings???
Since you haven't posted anything new I'll just comment again on this one.
No one can say who is the one for you but you! It's about self knowledge. Just to debate with whoever jess is. Basically you may want to not do anything rash when in the throws of any mood swings. And just fyi I think that people say "crush" feelings diminish for everyone somewhere between 6-18 months. I don't think relationship decisions ultimately should be based on a crush anyway.
Soul search but be careful with the "not just feeling it" stuff. I think I'm rare in that I think love is will based. Volitional and a decision. If I fit with someone, have felt attraction to them. Then after that it's a lot about decisions. Not what I feel on any given day. But that's just me.
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